Today I have a different type of post to share today. I don't talk about relationships or my dating life much on the blog, but I'm switching it up today! I got married last Friday, and I thought it would be fun to share some relationship rules that I broke while Dan and I dated.
I'll also be sharing some wedding pictures! We got married at the Butterfly Falls at the Hidden Valley Inn in Belize (more on the Inn in upcoming posts!), and the pictures turned out absolutely amazing. Since we had a "just the two of us" ceremony, there's not much to talk about the actual wedding. In lieu of a full post on that, I'll be sharing some background information on our relationship, along with wedding photos and some #ThrowbackThursday pictures. I hope you enjoy (and I promise- back to running stuff next week!)
Guys are immature, so date someone older
I've always read in magazines (which, by the way, have the worst dating advice) that guys are less mature than women, so to compensate you should date someone a few years older. However, I think that if you find the right person age doesn't matter at all. Dan is a year younger than me, and most women in my family
ended up marrying someone younger!
Some people say that age is nothing but a number, and I think this is definitely true. Some guys are always going to be immature, no matter if they're 20 or 80, and others mature really early. I always think it's most important to look at the specific person and find out if your personalities and life styles mesh. For Dan and me, this means never taking ourselves too seriously, and maintaining a child-like (not childish) outlook on life.
Be friends first, then dateA little back story on how Dan and I met-
During his sophomore year, Dan lived in supplemental living in the dorms, which means that they packed 8 guys into one room. One of his roommates (Tyler) was my best friend in the Blue Band at Penn State, so I knew who Dan was but never really talked with him.
In Dan's junior year/my senior year, he decided to try out for the marching band as well. Band camp is held the week before classes start, so neither one of us could move into our apartments yet. Luckily, Tyler had an apartment over the summer and let us both stay with him. Dan and I got to talking and started going on dates during band camp. The rest is history :)
Even though I've heard that you should marry someone who is your best friend or you should be friends with someone before you start to date them, sometimes you just know that someone is the right one for you. While I think it's great to know someone really well first, that can turn awkward quickly if you don't share the same feelings, or if things don't end up working out.
Long distance doesn't workAfter I graduated from college, Dan and I kept dating while he was still in school. I was working back in Pittsburgh and he was still back at Penn State finishing up his senior year. Most people say that long-distance (even if it's not that long) won't work out, particularly during a big transitional time in life.
I was working full time and living on my own for the first time in my life, while Dan was studying for exams and working on the Formula One car team at school in his free time. That meant that we didn't get to see each other very often or even get to talk on the phone much! While this might seem like a recipe for disaster, it ended up working for us.
We set clear expectations ahead of time, and had some ground rules. One of these was that we always sent a text in the morning and at night, but didn't expect to get any during the day. We talked on the weekends, but didn't get upset if the other person was busy all week and couldn't talk. During his school breaks and holidays, we tried to meet up (and we went to Costa Rica during his spring break!), but if something came up with our families we were understanding.
Long distance can definitely be challenging and a lot of work, but I think that once you set expectations going in (and then follow them) it can work out! Luckily, technology is amazing today and it's really easy to Facetime, Skype, or call someone even from across the world!
Never go to sleep mad
If you ask pretty much anyone what their number one piece of advice is, they will probably say to never go to sleep mad. I can completely understand why this would work for some people, but for Dan and me this doesn't work at all!
For some reason, both of us get really cranky after 10:00, and any argument or issue that we have gets 1000 times worse at night. When we were dating long-distance, we even had a rule that we couldn't text or call after 10:00! Once we both wake up, we're in much better moods and are more capable of making logical, rather than emotional, arguments. While I wish I didn't go to bed mad, I know that in the end it's for the best! With most things in relationships, I think it's important to figure out what works best for the two of you, and not listen to what other people say you should do.
You should have the same interestsWhile I agree that it's important to have similar values and goals in life, I think there's a huge benefit to having different interests. I've learned so much from Dan (and hopefully he has from me as well) just because we're into different things. Plus, I've gotten to experience so many new activities just because it's different than what I've been into my entire life!
For example, Dan is really into outdoors activities like rock climbing, camping, zip lining, kayaking, etc. I never really did any of that stuff growing up, so when we started dating and I got to learn about his interests, it completely opened up my eyes to new interests! I've shared my love of the orchestra, traveling, cooking and running with Dan. I feel like both of our lives are so much more full now that we can try new things together.
Another benefit of having different interests is maintaining some independence. While I love spending time with Dan, I also love having activities that are just for me. It's nice to do things alone occasionally, and then share with him at the end of the day!
Dress- Express (only available in black now)
Shoes- old from Marshalls (similar)
Dan's shirt- Columbia
Dan's pants- Columbia
Dan's shoes- Salomon
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